Learning to live and slow down as entrances to recovery from chronic stress

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Spoiler alert: Life is NOT engineerable and we plan ourselves to death

Blog by LemonGrass Coach Wendy van de Kragt

"Life is not only beautiful, it is also ugly and die we all go". This is pretty much how Hilde Bolt opened the NOBCO master class "Body-centred learning for Stress and Burnout" on 7 April last. A woman after my own heart. For I am not of the school that life is only beautiful and malleable.

In our blogs, we regularly share about our sources of inspiration, and Hilde Bolt's work inspires me. There is a lot of wisdom in her views on chronic stress and trauma, based on different cultures and body-centred perspectives.

In this blog, I share two of her principles that appeal to me, a concrete exercise based on her work and a list of concrete tools from her book "What is it really about?" (2023). With the aim this week of inviting you to feel more in touch with your body and more at peace (not least for myselfJ).

Learning to live requires embedding death

As a facilitator, you cannot help the other person find a sustainable balance, Hilde says. For that suggests that there is such a thing as a point at which you have found that balance and that it could then stay that way. As if life could be engineered, which we in the West tend to think. Man is part of nature, and the only constant is that everything is always in motion. In case of chronic stress and/or trauma (old pain), it's about learning to live not only with the beautiful things in life, but also with pain, setbacks and death. And as a counsellor, you support this. In fact, this applies to all of us, of course.

Slow down

I recently read a piece in the NRC newspaper that the Dutch plan their schedule in their free time to such an extent that there is no room for spontaneity. We want to use our free time as optimally as possible with the result that this in turn stresses us out. Recovering from stress & burnout and learning to live (again) starts with switching back to the gears of your body and your heart. After all, these are a lot slower than the head. Our thinking which always wants more and harder. By slowing down, you can start to hear your body, learn to listen to it. And also to then endure that going inward and slowing down is not only nice, but also uncomfortable, painful, etc. Then you finally sit on the couch and try to relax, and then it turns out that it's not so pleasant at all because you encounter your restlessness, fatigue, pent-up emotions, etc., and then you have to start saying no, can't do everything anymore.

Exercise Hello body

5 - 8 minutes

Grab a notebook, writing pad and imagine yourself writing a dialogue between your consciousness and your body. Be genuinely curious about what comes next. Draw a line halfway down your first page, from top to bottom. In the left column write as consciousness (aware ego) and in the right column answer as your body. As awareness, start by introducing yourself and asking how your body is doing. Ask what your body is doing for you and what it needs, and thank it. Do this exercise regularly.

Finally, this reminder: why slowing down is important again:

• To process stimuli we have experienced during the day, including neurologically.
• To allow the body to recover from its interaction with life during the day.
• So that other body functions can do their work, e.g. digesting food, getting rid of waste products and pathogenic bacteria and viruses.
• To make deeper contact with ourselves so we can see what we are running past.
• To allow our emotions and feelings, release muscle tension.
• So that we can create flow moments where we forget time for a moment.

And the more stressful your life is right now, the greater your system's need for rest, recovery and connection.

Want to know more? Feel free to email: Wendy@lemongrasscoaching.nl