Managing and being sensitive to rejection; a difficult as well as common combination

Leadership and sensitivity to rejection; a difficult and also common combination 

"Well, aren't we all sensitive to rejection?" I ask Saskia Klaaysen during an introductory day "Rejection Sensitivity Structure Table Constellations" on 6 June last .She agrees and nuances this. There really are people who have less of it or can easily let it go. In her work with HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons), Saskia sees that these people often don't quite come into their own, are weighed down by stimuli and experience a lot of energy loss and usually blame their high sensitivity for this. In her experience, it is usually not the HSP, but an underlying sensitivity to rejection that is to blame. If you learn to deal with that, you will have much more room to move. You do this by learning to allow and learn to endure the pain, fear or guilt that might be touched by a possible rejection. Instead of avoiding these at all costs mostly unconsciously.

On this training day, it was also discussed that quite a few managers, suffer from this rejection sensitivity in the form of, for example, working very hard and/or pleasing. And sometimes much more subtle than that. A layer of making yourself bigger than you are can lie over it. The underlying similarity is that a lot of energy goes into being busy 'on the basis of the other', as Saskia calls it. Finding something from the other, or seeking appreciation from the other so that your attention is not on what you want right now. When you can operate more from your own ground as a manager, you get clearer about what you find important as a manager and you are able to communicate more equally and openly. An important topic within executive coaching.

Overall, for anyone who recognises rejection sensitivity, awareness, as well as focusing more on yourself, helps. You learn to include certain parts of yourself that you tend to exclude from your upbringing (e.g. your strength, sensitivity or creativity). And then energy is released that you can focus on your own vision, core qualities and what you want. See also videos Saskia on YouTube or buy her webinar: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLisAlqLK6hPdFbYXMTUnCNE_tTaEof_J4

With Lemongrasscoaching's vision on the tree of personal leadership https://www.lemongrasscoaching.nl/nieuws/een-metafoor-voor-persoonlijk-leiderschap/), we connect to this nicely. We dwell on young learned survival patterns, teach you to see them with mildness, and also to accept that they are there and that they affect you, and from there we focus on your compass. The perspective of rejection sensitivity provides us with a valuable and complementary view and tool. Would you like to know more about this, and/or are you curious about a table constellation, make an appointment with Wendy.